Winter wonderland

I have not had the Holiday/Christmas spirit this year. There are many reasons for this. I am at (another) temporary job that will end in mid-January, massive teen issues that will result in money loss monthly that threatens our living situation , downgrading a wonderful relationship from dating to friends, and a lot of my big ticket items needing repair or replaced. I feel like all I do is try to hold things together but don't seem to do that well or make forward progress. After 5+ years it gets you down. I realize there are people out there with a lot more worry some problems and I need to suck it up some more. I do try to do that daily. I always try to enjoy the small things and simple pleasures.

The thing is I like my independence but I miss being in a committed relationship. To me a relationship means that you share a life, responsibilities, the good and bad and you know there is another person that is there for you and you for them. I'm tired and want someone to lean on and share with.

This morning I went out to a very cold morning. It was 27 and frosty when I walked to the trolley. It did give me a bit of the holiday spirit and made me wish I had my camera. It felt good to have a bit of that feeling today. I hope for more of it because I dont like feeling this way.