Hang on to your hats. . .

To avoid a total meltdown in my world yesterday I had a good cry, a supportive phone call (or two) and a stay at home night last night. I woke today with a new sense of the Marta I prefer to be. Actually when I was knitting while watching Charmed a photo flashed on the screen of my computer that made me say "YES!" I thought to myself *That's the approach I need for a few details* It is the photo a the head of this posting. I wish I had a flame thrower.

I need my car back NOW! That is all I really need to say on that subject. I didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be treated this way as well as a forced life style change. I hate the feeling of helplessness I have felt in this situation.

The feeling of dismay in my world is because I seem to always have some new crisis to take care of. I keep going and trying. I just feel I'm spread so thin on so many things I cant complete any one. I need focus and a renewed sense of determination. I could use some same ol' same ol' boring every once in awhile.

Why do I tell all this here? Well, I just want you to understand if I seem distracted or unususally quiet you know why. What can you do to help Me? If you have any leads on 1) a mechanically sound Volvo no more than $5000. Or want to help Me car shop CALL ME 2) Any jobs, job training ideas, spare cash laying around CALL ME, 3) Know of an (dirt cheap) apartment/long term house sitting/room above a garage/separate entrance room to rent PLEASE PLEASE CALL ME!!!!!!

I still see the glass half full with the potential of being refilled. I'm just tired of always being in fight mode. I need some "normalcy" in My world. If I didn't have 1) Joseph, My Boys and great friends 2)knitting 3)improv comedy and a stubborn streak I would have given up a long time ago.

I want to get up every morning and go to work in My own car possibly headed for a park and ride. I want to pay my bills and have a bit left over for yarn or a cute pair of shoes I saw in a window. I want to live in the privacy of my own place and not have to over worry about disturbing roommates if I have a friend over or I feel like leaving a mess in the kitchen. That would relax Me in My world. Independence, Respect and pleasure. I dont think that is too much to ask for. Now getting it. . . . .