What more can I tell You without blushing?

So, as I have said in the past, I have done a lot of living in the last four years. Along with that a lot of personal growth. I don't play games or scheme to manipulate people. I'm an open book with nothing to hide. Honesty and just being who I am is my bag. In the past I wasn't able to be the Me I am and got lost. Also in doing that to myself I was not in touch with Me.

With that said I would like to set the record straight on a few things. I was not in touch with my sexuality since I was a teenager. I didn't understand my feelings at the time nor did I talk to anyone. In my relationship with my ex-husband I wanted to fit in to his world and please. I didn't see it as that at the time but now I see it for what it was.

I was seventeen and just graduated from High school. The last three months had been difficult for Me for several reasons. For Me it was love at first sight. He says it was the same for him. He came from a well off catholic traditional family. I was raised by liberal hippie want- a- be's. I guess we shouldn't have gotten married but we were both too stubborn to give up. We were together for twenty one years. For seventeen and a half we were married. It honestly should have ended at thirteen. Hindsight being what is doesn't help unless you have a way back machine so. . . .

Back to My straightening. I didn't have a very exciting sex life and didn't blossom into the sensual creature I truly am. I don't want to say he stifled me but a glimpse into who I could be was too much for him. Same with my other ex. I'm "too much woman" for some. I also didn't see my crushes on women as I do now.

When I say "I like everything" I mean I enjoy both men and women. For those still unclear, what I'm saying is I'm Bi-sexual. I've not been in the closet but some think I was joking around. Nope, just being Me. Now for those that just "got it" don't weird out on Me. I would NEVER do anything to make you uncomfortable. Not interested? Straight? No worries! I do joke around a lot but would not expect more than what anyone is willing to give. I am glad I have lots of great friends and could always use more.

I think I know how my kids felt as they were growing toddlers. There were things they couldn't do or understand yet until they had a growth spurt, mental or otherwise. I feel like that's what I have now and again. There must still be layers of Me yet to uncover. That's okay, I'm liking it so far.

Last year was a dramatic non stop ride. Lots of bad things happened to Me but despite all I have been through I have never been happier. The answer is simple. I'm happy with the person I'm dating now. He heard all I had to say and was more than fine with it and Me. It feels so good to be myself and excepted. He is a very special man and I'm lucky to have this time with him. Thank You Sweetie.

I had more to say but am going to make this a cliff hanger! Stay tuned for more exciting opinions and confessions in Marta's World. ;)