I feel like I win when I lose

This year has been a banner year for the M&M's. (that is how the manager listed us on the apartment call box.) As always there have been up's and downs but overall we are finally on our way. Wil has stalled out but I think we can get that moving soon into the new year.

A year ago I found out that I had been accepted in school and had my funding. That was the first step down the hilly path I have been on this year. While in school I worked hard and was frustrated (and scared) at times but look where I am now. I am very proud of myself. It has been an amazing year!

The departure of Nick has been very hard for the mom in me. He is my son and I love him. He is in a totally weird place right now in his thinking of what he is owed by the world. He takes no responsibility for his actions but pins it all on everyone else. He turned 18 the day after Christmas. What he does now is up to him and his pocket book. It has been hard for me to let him go. I hope one day soon he grows up and comes back. I really miss him and regret how things played out. Having him here was even harder on both Wil and I. It was like living in a hostage/terrorist situation.

I was ready for a better (easier) life. I can really see and use the physical changes in my apartment. The paint on the walls makes this apartment more mine. It feels warm and cozy. It is amazing how some color on the walls makes such a difference. It is a great color for my art to hang on. I would not have been able to purchase art from Carly or any of the wonderful furniture I have gotten this year. All I had been able to do before my new career is dream and wish. I appreciate what I have more than I might have. That brings me to my washer. I feel completely spoiled by having it! I can come home at night and put in a load of laundry at midnight if I want! Laundry used to be such a chore and hassle. I had to have quarters, time and patience. Now I have gotten into the habit of doing it every couple of days as needed.

I don't want to give the impression that happiness is found in the stuff. The happiness I found in a comfortable living environment I have created for us surrounded by these things I have chosen and paid for. I'm pleased that I was able to do it. The other part of that comfort and pride is being able to do the work. Painting the walls, re-covering the seats for the dining chairs, painting the locker, making the cow butt frame shelf and the other smaller projects I have done. My parents have seen the change and supported me in many ways. They drove all over the city to help pick up furniture. They have lent the tools for my projects and assisted when I needed. The final validation is they gave me tools of my own so I can continue with new projects. I really have come along way this year.

I feel like I have made a good start in 2008. I am still standing and then some. The best is yet to come.

Marta Montgomery CPhT