500 is good

I was surprised to see that this would be post number 500! I have always enjoyed this, my original blog more than any other I have done. I dappled with Live Journal, Greatest Journal and my blog on My Space but I always end up back here to "I'm Still Standing". The title says it all about my life and the tenacity in which I live it. I have lived a lot of life in the last seven years. I ended a 14 year marriage/21 year relationship, have had my heart broke several times, walked away from a cheating life partner, survived cancer, lived through a debilitating ankle injury, slammed into perimenopause, had a child behave so badly we parted ways, was almost homeless, was orphaned (not by death) and unemployed more than working for lack of marketable skills. Despite all that I am here and Still Standing. I am proud and pleased to be me.

When I logged today it was to tell of my inner feelings of late. The excitement and confidence of a future is so strange. Seems fitting on a millstone post to type it here. I cant remember the last time I felt this way. I am only in my third week of school but I am making future plans like I have not in soooo long. I'm planning my Graduation and beyond! That is such a weird concept to me that I cant think of how to put it into words. I'm still anxious about all I have to memorize and know for my tests but despite that I am oozing confidence and positive feelings that make me smile. I am making my future. That is so completely awesome I am just busting!!! I don't know if even last summer I would have been ready for all this goodness. I needed to have no distractions or guilt to be able to get to where I am now. With Nick coming unwrapped and Wil needing to be away from the terrorist-like conditions of being around his brother I was not ready. All of this is not just for me but the boys too. I want to help them both move on to their future. I hope my new career makes all of our lives easier and brings us closer. That is my hope. The future is giving me such a "Sunny" feeling it is crazy but I like it.