If I listen I will hear

I have beating myself up a bit the last couple days. I felt that I needed to accommodate others and do the brunt of the moving work myself . The accommodating was trying to be as invisible as possible to my new roommates. Not take up any space outside of my room. I felt I was intruding on a quiet calm household. Last night when I took another load over and to get things ready for the final move I listened to my thoughts. I realized I was being a silly. I have every right to be there and take up space. It's a big basement with plenty of room for the things stored there. I realize I'm out of my element but need to relax. These are things that can be rearranged once I'm done moving.

What I'm trying to say is though I'm in flux (big time) and uncomfortable I'm not a victim so I need to just be me. The best Marta I can be. I cant wait to be on that mountain again but I'm not gonna get there by lurking in the shadows.

My ex- husband is always telling anyone within ear shot that I'm not the responsible parent/person. Right. Hey, I gotta a message for you;F#*K you! I'm not going to doubt myself anymore but hold my head up and get on with life.

I feel better now. I hate it when people kick someone when they are down. If that's the only way to feel power that's sad. I'm gonna keep mine and use it for my own positive loving life purposes!

A friend said to me "bad things happen to good people". So true. Kisses, MeRM