It IS a wonderful life

I'm happy with the path I have chosen. I like myself and the person I'm evolving into. I have two great boys that care about and try to protect me. I have great friends that I can turn to in a pinch. I get a lot of pleasure from my time at CSz. I have tried many new things and found new interests. It's been good to get to know the un-edited me.

I guess you could say I have had a string of hard luck this year. I've tried to keep a positive "the glass half full" mentality going. I keep going forward and tackle the problems head on. Honestly I don't see how it helps to bitch and moan when things go wrong and I'm too stubborn to just lie down and give up anyway. I'm surly being tested for some reason that I don't quite understand. Well my friends, I'm in a pinch now and could use your positive energy and help.

Three of the things you've already read about me in this blog are 1) my ankle is still a concern. I didn't get to finish my last round of P.T. or do my follow up to the ortho doc. 2) my lack of job and funds are making me temporarily homeless. I truly hope to change this ASAP. I have a place to store my furniture but I'm not sure where I'll be once I leave my apartment but I'm not freaking out about it. 3) no health insurance.

here's what you don't know . I have been diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. It's in the early stages and they don't think it's spread. I have a laser surgery at the end of the month to remove the cancer they see and take more biopsies. It was out of the blue and still seems unreal to me. I have a great doc who is being aggressive to ensure a long run for yours truly.

I don't want your sympathy but I DO need help to get through this. I have no more ideas to get me back on my feet. I'm already in debt from my ankle injury and don't know what to do about the staggering medical bills! I need a job, a place to live both temporary and permanent. Any ideas on anything would be great. I don't have major job skills since I was an at home mom and never finished college.

I'm a bit overwhelmed by all that is happening at once but I assure you I'm taking it pretty well. I could use more laughter so any cheesy jokes you have bring them on!

Let me end this post with this. "The Explosion" is a band I saw on my Birthday. They were the warm up band for "Burning Brides". I really enjoyed their 70's punk style. I really identify with one of their songs on the CD I bought. It's called "Here I Am". The refrain is:

well here I am here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
oh let me stand let me stand let me stand
on top of the mountain again

I know I'll be back I just have to get through this . I'm a bit dazed but I'm still standing. It is a good life and I feel lucky to have the "things" I have. Thanks for your support.