going round and round and round in my little world

We all get caught up in the close walls in our own little world. I am no exception. The difference is I write about my pains, triumphs, mistakes and crazy but true happenings. I started blogging many years ago along with other people I was hanging around at the time. The reason I still do is I hope I help someone else with a question or problem. Sometimes just writing about the things I get myself into entertains (or stuns) me so maybe you will will be amused too. Lastly putting into words for others to see dulls some of the pain I may feel about a subject. Think of it as emotional vomit. I guess if I was in a relationship I would talk to that person about things and all of you less? I don't think that is true. No, the last long term relationship I was in I blogged a good deal. I just have a lot to say and so I type away for those who chose to read. I find it amusing that most of you read in anonymity. Since you don't make yourself known you think nobody else reads my rambles. That's when you ask me "Why do you write for no one?" I think I have answered that - I do it for me . . . after all , it is all about me.

I find it interesting that I will have thoughts bouncing around in my head but not firmed up into a subject until I hear a song title or words of a song and bam! Music has always been important to me but it also seems to be the spark that inspires me. It can also be the song that is like taking a bullet to the heart. Some songs or even a whole album can be off limits unless I need a emotional cutting session. It is hard for me to let go of some emotions especially when I feel they have not been validated. By that I mean I have put into words the unresolved feelings to the person and they heard me. Sometimes I feel like I have too many feelings for one person. Wow, I am really retrospective today.

I think it comes from all the recent events going on in my world. One friend is self-destructing and I cant stop it, another wants to be a "beneficial" friend, a third is in a bad relationship with possible cheating involved. I'm glad to be a good friend but I feel all of it as if it was my problem. I have my own burdens too. I am unemployed and worrying about finances and lack of cash flow. I was not prepared to be on insanely limited funds but still regular bills. Oh, and rent when up this month.

I did have an interview that went really well yesterday. In fact I was asked back for a second interview before the first was done! The head of HR blurted out " I really shouldn't do this until I finish the other (first) interviews but I want you to come back next week for a second interview!" Given that I was 20 minutes late that is pretty cool. When I went out to my car to go to the interview a moving truck and car were double parked thus blocking me in. I was parked by a higher curb with huge trees so no driving up on the sidewalk to escape. Since there are several apartment buildings around mine it was a crap shoot to find the owners of the vehicles. The other down side is most of the buildings around me do not have on-site managers (mine does but to get her or help is tough) so I could not buzz them to find out if they were moving into that building. Finally I rocked the car enough and set off the alarm. That brought them out. They were having a coffee and donut picnic before unloading. It did not occur to them that they were blocking in 3 total strangers by having a big U-haul with a car double parked right behind! The biggest annoyance is they did not even apologize! They were mad that I touched their precious car and the coffee was getting cold. If ever there was a time to deck a total stranger it was then but I did not want blood on my new suit and I was already late.

I had a bit of trouble finding the building and was almost thinking this was already blown because of my tardiness. Not to give in in the face of defeat I pressed on. She was actually glad I was late as she had work to do! Sometimes things just work out. I called my mom at the end for what I thought would be a short convo but it turned into 30 minutes. The bad thing is I had put my key in the ignition and turned the car almost on . . . yup, I drained the battery. I always have the headlights on and the radio does not turn off. I had to call AAA for a jump. Before I called them I waited 40 minutes hoping it would recharge enough to start. I walked across the street to Miller Paint to problem solve the finish on my bulletin board project. When I went back there was a little life but I knew it would not come back enough so I called AAA. To ease my parents mind I drove to my Les Schwab to check the battery. They were so sure I would need a new battery .The adorable guy that helped me checked out the battery life, my tire pressure and my ass. He was too young to even think about. ;) I was fortune in finding a parking spot especially since they added another 1/2 block of "2 hour parking" on my street. I got home and changed for a much needed bike ride. Two days in a row biking is nice. I have been trying to go every other day depending on the weather.

That was a strange but nice day in the life in of my world. Learn something or be entertained or . . . .