The new plan for a new Me

So I said I would explain the get-the-Diva-back-on-track plan. In a nut shell I gave myself a mental Cher movie slap and snapped out of it! I have gone back to writing in a journal using it as an honest, safe positive place to be my own cheer leader, work out the obstacles and see my progress when I feel like I am not making any. I have to be completely honest in my thoughts to myself so I can generate the positive! I let a toxic work environment, working way too much, too many bills due to another adult in the house, perimenopause and a wet spring get me down. I stopped trying to be my creative self and felt bad for myself, about myself and the state of things. There will be no more of that!

I have had some great bike rides of late that have let my mind wonder but come up with some interesting thoughts. I usually have my iPod in one ear and the sounds of the city in the other. The overlay of the two along with the ride itself takes my mind to a place of great insight. I think the other thing bugging me is my upcoming big f'ing birthday. The milestone in age is not what is bugging me but rather the plans/goals  I set for myself to achieve before that birthday. I was going to be settled in a permanent job in my current career, a home owner, taking art/craft classes with money in the bank and hopefully someone to share it with. It has been 10 years since my divorce and and 8 since I survived the life altering deception of my ex-fiancee. I came out of both of those relationships a better, stronger, positive determined woman. I guess I stalled out and got mired in the everyday. I have to build toward the future or I will never be able to retire! Right now I got nothing. I am the one taking care of me so I better get to it!

Plan
No procrastination allowed
Save money
Find a permanent job to bridge over
Get busy with real estate!
Get social
Make the Me time I need
BIKE!

I need to listen to the inner Me and be kind, creative and proactive. No more coach potato unless it's at the end of a long productive day!

It's about f'ing time!

Boy howdy I have been busy! I am usually doing stuff but this is "pouring" week! Let me start by saying on the way to my parent’s house Wednesday afternoon I got a phone call. I could not pull over fast (and safely) enough to answer (I won’t answer my new hand held if I am driving) the call. I did not recognize the number so I waited semi-patiently for the voice mail. It was the recruiter I had talked to on Monday. She is the Pharm Tech recruiter for the hospital I interviewed for. She is also the same one that “let the cat out of the bag.” She let me know that they had moved forward with the next phase with me – meaning they were checking references etc. Anyway, she offered the job to me with a start date the first of August! I was very excited and could not wait to tell my parents! I have to join a union but will get benefits through the union. Oh, I get paid more than my last position! (Woo Hoo!!) It also made my day altogether more crazy. Nick was coming over to spend the night and go Roller Skating with me but I still had to pick up some needed items at my parents, go to Winco as I was out of milk, bread and other stuff. Once you are offered a job you have 48 hours to take and pass the drug test. I had agreed that morning to "help" t run a Garage sale Friday and Sat with set up on Thursday. Anyway, somehow I managed to get it all done and beat Nick back to my house.

The whole time I skated in Derby Nick did not want to go Roller Skating. He has really changed a lot and grown up! He asked if it was okay for a few friends to meet us there - sure! We had a great time! He and his friends were well mannered. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves and want to go every Wednesday and bring more friends. Nick has a girl that is a friend who has a "hot mom" that is my age who is bi. The "kids" have decided to set us up. She will come on a Wednesday to skate. Sounds like fun. More to say but will part II this to get this part out. I AM EMPLOYED!!!!!

Go with what you know

When an opportunity comes along take it or shut up. Since I am not having luck finding a job with my career of training and not yet sure (financially) about a career in real estate I am taking on manual labor. A gal's got to pay the bills. I am doing some interior painting. I may even get to do some decorating! I am already in charge of the color story throughout the house. I would rather be doing my own place but I gotta say it is very satisfying to have someone hear my ideas and totally dig them. It is fun for me.

I had a stressful Thursday. My phone was taking a shit on me, my parents wanted me to finish painting their Living room trim (for the love of the Parents) and I got very little details of this job but was misinformed that I had three days to do a whole house! I got stressed by it all - money worries, and needing a bike ride got me a bit grumpy. I breathed through it and thought all was fine. The next day I had a new phone, most of my parents job was mostly done (so they could put the room back together) met with my client and had a better idea of the job and I was looking forward to helping with door at Comedy Sportz. Bron,who runs the UK CSz, was in town! Besides, Bill was doing sound so the funnest guy in CSz (and possibly the world) was in 'da house! I enjoyed the show but at the end realized I had a migraine! I thought I would be okay but half way into the after hours show I got so nauseated I was going to toss my cookies! I had to go home and straight to bed instead of hanging out with Bron!

I had an appointment with my client at the paint store at 11am on Saturday so I and my posse ( I gots me a posse!) could start the job on Sunday. (yes, Easter) I was in pain but staggered down to my paint store where my client was waiting and got the essentials to start. I spent the rest of the "first day we had no rain and hit 70" hiding in my bed drinking my swamp water and taking a mix of all pain relievers to get rid of my headache. I got well enough to start the job. Even now on Monday evening I still have it but not the nausea so I can keep going. Stupid migraine!

I have more to say but need to put heat on the back of my head hopefully ease my migraine. Kiss!

update Diva style

How about a quick update?

I have not heard from Martin for well over a week. At first I was giddy when I got new e-mails. It really made me smile. The thing is he wrote with a lot of "..." instead of finishing sentences and thoughts. The subject of the e-mails never got very personal so it was not getting to know each other. There was sweetness but not really any moving forward. I answered him last and have not heard back. I was getting frustrated anyway so . . .

Had a job interview yesterday. It was with a fancy spa-like retail/Pharmacy. I don't have any retail Pharmacy experience which includes 3rd party insurance billing and compounding. I was hoping that my lack of experience would be over looked because of my shining customer service skills and current licenses in Pharmacy. I think there were 8-12 of us interviewing for 2 openings. I should have already heard back from them if I was in the running. They said they wanted to move quickly and hire by today. Since it is 4:30 I am not so hopeful. Honestly the only reason I got into the career is I was supposed to always easily have a job. It is interesting but not very creative. Which brings me into my next subject.

Anyone that knows me knows I love to watch HGTV. I love the design shows but equally enjoy the real estate shows. A couple times in my life I wanted to (or did) work in design and (almost) real estate. I met with a realtor in my neighborhood this morning. I wrote to her last week stating I was interested in learning more about being a realtor. I got a lot of information and things to think about. When I got home on CL there was an ad from the Company she was talking about (not hers) that is a great "group style" selling atmosphere - good for newbies. The ad is about how the company will cover the up front costs of the classes and license fees. I called the number and made an appointment to get more information on Friday. Don't get all worried people! I am not rushing into anything but getting information. I wrote her and sent her a link to the ad and she thinks it's a great opportunity. Her dad works at that branch.

I have a new re-purpose idea that would be storage too. I want to find a "free" kitchen cabinet that is free (so not an upper) standing so I can add locking wheels and possibly a counter space and "park" it next to the end of the kitchen. I can hide all the clutter that is behind the screen and not visible in the "Living room" but it sure is when you are in the kitchen! I think it will be useful when I move but for now I can put the micro on top and hide some of the small appliances that are currently on the limited counter space. It may take some time hunting in the free section on CL but it is part of the fun.

Not really having any luck selling my items on CL so far. After I posted my table 4 others popped up using a lot of my ad verbage and priced less - bitches! The only bites (but no follow thru) I have had is on the cabinet and the chandelier. I will re-post them Friday and hope to get new interest.

So you have been Diva'ed for the day!

going round and round and round in my little world

We all get caught up in the close walls in our own little world. I am no exception. The difference is I write about my pains, triumphs, mistakes and crazy but true happenings. I started blogging many years ago along with other people I was hanging around at the time. The reason I still do is I hope I help someone else with a question or problem. Sometimes just writing about the things I get myself into entertains (or stuns) me so maybe you will will be amused too. Lastly putting into words for others to see dulls some of the pain I may feel about a subject. Think of it as emotional vomit. I guess if I was in a relationship I would talk to that person about things and all of you less? I don't think that is true. No, the last long term relationship I was in I blogged a good deal. I just have a lot to say and so I type away for those who chose to read. I find it amusing that most of you read in anonymity. Since you don't make yourself known you think nobody else reads my rambles. That's when you ask me "Why do you write for no one?" I think I have answered that - I do it for me . . . after all , it is all about me.

I find it interesting that I will have thoughts bouncing around in my head but not firmed up into a subject until I hear a song title or words of a song and bam! Music has always been important to me but it also seems to be the spark that inspires me. It can also be the song that is like taking a bullet to the heart. Some songs or even a whole album can be off limits unless I need a emotional cutting session. It is hard for me to let go of some emotions especially when I feel they have not been validated. By that I mean I have put into words the unresolved feelings to the person and they heard me. Sometimes I feel like I have too many feelings for one person. Wow, I am really retrospective today.

I think it comes from all the recent events going on in my world. One friend is self-destructing and I cant stop it, another wants to be a "beneficial" friend, a third is in a bad relationship with possible cheating involved. I'm glad to be a good friend but I feel all of it as if it was my problem. I have my own burdens too. I am unemployed and worrying about finances and lack of cash flow. I was not prepared to be on insanely limited funds but still regular bills. Oh, and rent when up this month.

I did have an interview that went really well yesterday. In fact I was asked back for a second interview before the first was done! The head of HR blurted out " I really shouldn't do this until I finish the other (first) interviews but I want you to come back next week for a second interview!" Given that I was 20 minutes late that is pretty cool. When I went out to my car to go to the interview a moving truck and car were double parked thus blocking me in. I was parked by a higher curb with huge trees so no driving up on the sidewalk to escape. Since there are several apartment buildings around mine it was a crap shoot to find the owners of the vehicles. The other down side is most of the buildings around me do not have on-site managers (mine does but to get her or help is tough) so I could not buzz them to find out if they were moving into that building. Finally I rocked the car enough and set off the alarm. That brought them out. They were having a coffee and donut picnic before unloading. It did not occur to them that they were blocking in 3 total strangers by having a big U-haul with a car double parked right behind! The biggest annoyance is they did not even apologize! They were mad that I touched their precious car and the coffee was getting cold. If ever there was a time to deck a total stranger it was then but I did not want blood on my new suit and I was already late.

I had a bit of trouble finding the building and was almost thinking this was already blown because of my tardiness. Not to give in in the face of defeat I pressed on. She was actually glad I was late as she had work to do! Sometimes things just work out. I called my mom at the end for what I thought would be a short convo but it turned into 30 minutes. The bad thing is I had put my key in the ignition and turned the car almost on . . . yup, I drained the battery. I always have the headlights on and the radio does not turn off. I had to call AAA for a jump. Before I called them I waited 40 minutes hoping it would recharge enough to start. I walked across the street to Miller Paint to problem solve the finish on my bulletin board project. When I went back there was a little life but I knew it would not come back enough so I called AAA. To ease my parents mind I drove to my Les Schwab to check the battery. They were so sure I would need a new battery .The adorable guy that helped me checked out the battery life, my tire pressure and my ass. He was too young to even think about. ;) I was fortune in finding a parking spot especially since they added another 1/2 block of "2 hour parking" on my street. I got home and changed for a much needed bike ride. Two days in a row biking is nice. I have been trying to go every other day depending on the weather.

That was a strange but nice day in the life in of my world. Learn something or be entertained or . . . .

Looking up

Had a busy day today. I have been treating myself to surfing the free stuff section on CraigsList in between job hunting. Today I scored! I was the first to respond to an ad for a art deco-ish bar/buffet turned entertainment center. It is a little rough but better than the Ikea piece that was there. It goes better with the other furniture and style in my place. It does have the TV higher than it should be (Wil is gonna bitch) but I like it so much more! Could my luck be changing?

I have sent out a handful of applications to jobs in the last week and a half. I have got a no thank you from an IV Tech position (I expected that as I am not trained to mix) and I have an interview on Wednesday from another. I have gotten the standard "we are looking at all the candidates" . . . e-mail from the rest. I have been asked by several of my old co-workers from PPMC to apply to two Tech positions that are not even posted yet. I have very mixed feelings about going back there but I have a bigger aversion to being homeless. I wrote an awesome cover letter and attached my resume. The rest is up to the Boss. I left on good terms but she did screw me a bit. I did not want all the questions, sad goodbyes and a party. I asked to just leave on my last day. When a rumor started that I was fired she did not put them straight even when I asked her to.

All in all I had a good but busy day. I had to enlist the help of the "boys" across the hall to move the old piece out and TV off the old and on the new. After everyone left I hooked the TV, cable, VCR and X-box back up by myself. (yup, I really did it all correctly and fairly quickly too!) After that I had to clean and dust and vacuum and move and put away and WOW was I tired at the end of this 4 hour tour! I do think it is well worth it. (Photo later in the light) The only thing I have not done yet is use my furniture restore product on the outside. It will "hide" scratches and give the whole piece a luster. This is a very solid piece of furniture and was very heavy! In this case free was a very good price.

Send all the good karmic vibes my way! I can always use the extra help.