T.G.I. f'ing FRIDAY and other Tributes

Not much time to post since I am out living! Buckle your seat belts because I will verve around and leave!

I have almost finished my first week at the new job. It is going well so far. The hardest part of this job will be memorizing the building(s)! They have the original building, two different add-on's and now they are completing the third one! What I am trying to say is not all halls or elevators lead to the places I need to get to and there is no map to get it in my head faster. Honestly that is the biggest stress of the job so far. The evening shift is 1pm-9:30pm so I can still have a life before and after work. At the last big hospital it was 2:45pm-11:15pm so you missed concerts, dinners, late nite happy hours and such. I am looking forward to settling in and getting back to going out too! The base pay is even better than my last job and I get evening differential pay on top of that! Not bad for a gal 3 years out of school. I am earning above the max pay grade for the last big hospital I was at and where I started. I have to wait 3 months to get my health bene's through the union but then I will have health care -YIPPIE!

I had a pretty good birthday week. I finished painting my parents and my big projects, enjoyed a bike ride and first Thursday in the sun, attended the Hillsboro Gem Faire, (I call it the bead show) went crazy dancing at 80's nite, had the family August b-day BBQ on Saturday and chilled on Sunday before starting work Monday. I was overly blessed in birthday presents I was not expecting. My "Wrestling buddies" got me "the John Cena Experience" 3 DVD collection I had wanted for Christmas! *drool* I gotta say the first DVD "A day in the life" made me "love" him a little bit more. I'm reluctant to watch in bed because it seems like porn to me. ;) Wil got me the 3 Maroon 5 albums he could find which I am listening to now. They are mostly pop but listening to them makes me in a happy mood so it is good. My parents spoiled me. My dad got me Lady GaGa's new CD, and some pretties at the bead show and a cow timer. My mom gave me a smaller painting I have admired for years, a lamp that sits on top of my file cab (in my closet near the head of my bed) so I could get rid of the Ikea floor lamp that is ugly and it the way. My brother gave me a bike pump and a better cable to help lock my bike up. There were a few little things for the cow collection. Auntie BFF sent me a Fandango Gift card! All in all the Diva has felt that her birth month has been one big Diva love fest!

Tomorrow Derby is playing at the Music Millenium Customer appreciation BBQ - go see them!

Why are we all so scared to be ourselves?

I have been thinking a lot the last several days about the way people communicate with each other. Why don't we just say what we want, need or feel? We are scared to be out of place, getting hurt or worse to hurt someone. Sometimes we keep the truth to ourselves thinking it would be better or easier unsaid. Wouldn't it be so much easier to be able to say "I really like you and hope you to feel the same for me." Instead we feel anxiety waiting for that phone call, text, e-mail or next meeting. We wait for the other person to say the things we want to hear or are too afraid to say. I am thinking about dating specifically in this rant but really in all of our relationships we don't say what we mean. Trying to date and put yourself out there is scary! I really have had some strange conversations via the e-mail. One guy says we are getting to know each other but in the last 3 weeks it has been a sentence or two of nonsense but no real information. I guess I scared him off anyway. We would answer each other every couple of days but he is MIA. God, I hate the looking for a normal person to hang with! I was fortunate in the past as far as a DB. We had a wonderful relationship except for the long distance thing.

I have run out of steam for this (continual) rant so I will leave it for now. "I don't want it all" just a person to share time with.

This is all I am asking for

All I am asking for is someone to see me for who I am and love me. I don't think it can be that hard, right? Lobster Todd where are you?!?!?!