The new plan for a new Me

So I said I would explain the get-the-Diva-back-on-track plan. In a nut shell I gave myself a mental Cher movie slap and snapped out of it! I have gone back to writing in a journal using it as an honest, safe positive place to be my own cheer leader, work out the obstacles and see my progress when I feel like I am not making any. I have to be completely honest in my thoughts to myself so I can generate the positive! I let a toxic work environment, working way too much, too many bills due to another adult in the house, perimenopause and a wet spring get me down. I stopped trying to be my creative self and felt bad for myself, about myself and the state of things. There will be no more of that!

I have had some great bike rides of late that have let my mind wonder but come up with some interesting thoughts. I usually have my iPod in one ear and the sounds of the city in the other. The overlay of the two along with the ride itself takes my mind to a place of great insight. I think the other thing bugging me is my upcoming big f'ing birthday. The milestone in age is not what is bugging me but rather the plans/goals  I set for myself to achieve before that birthday. I was going to be settled in a permanent job in my current career, a home owner, taking art/craft classes with money in the bank and hopefully someone to share it with. It has been 10 years since my divorce and and 8 since I survived the life altering deception of my ex-fiancee. I came out of both of those relationships a better, stronger, positive determined woman. I guess I stalled out and got mired in the everyday. I have to build toward the future or I will never be able to retire! Right now I got nothing. I am the one taking care of me so I better get to it!

Plan
No procrastination allowed
Save money
Find a permanent job to bridge over
Get busy with real estate!
Get social
Make the Me time I need
BIKE!

I need to listen to the inner Me and be kind, creative and proactive. No more coach potato unless it's at the end of a long productive day!

The Future is my friend and the plans that I wear

Last night I kept with my new plan for life. I got off work at 7:30 and bee  lined for home. I was out the apartment door and on my bike by 8:25 which
is pretty fast given all I had to do to get there! I fed Abby and took her on a spin around the block since she had been in the kennel crate for a few hours. The "kids" went to game night. I used the walk around the block as my warm up before stretching for my ride. I stretch on the ground so Abby takes this opportunity to grab her rope toy and engage in a game of tug and
fetch. This usually works out well but she has a tendency to get too engaged. Let's just say my legs have suffered the wrath of Abby's dancing feet. If I ever end up injured at an ER they are going to think I am an abuse victim. (Wil would pop in and say Elder Abuse)


My ride was AWESOME! I rode with such focused ferociousness I was startled when I realized it. I rode my bike in a way I had not before. I used my whole body to manipulate my bike much like the whole body for skating or like a BMX rider would. An example would be wanting to shift past some people in a close setting before oncoming traffic (on the Esplanade) I moved (like skating) with my shoulders first then my arms down to my hands followed down to the bike. I also used my inner thighs on the bike seat to shift as a whole unit. BBB and I were like one! Once I was not as focused and realized the way and speed in which I
was attacking my route I was enjoying it immensely! It was not an outer body experience but more like an amusement park ride a la Diva! To say the ride was just what I needed after a few hard days at work but it was more than that. It was one of the best rides I have had in awhile. Kinda reminded me of the energy and ferocity I would make love. Fair to say with all the
hormone surges I have some pent up sexual tension. It was probably good that it was BBB and not a person. I might have broken them.This all happened on the Saturday night of Pride Weekend. I was not able to get my Pride on as it was my weekend to work. I kinda forgot in my hustling around. I noticed a higher than usual number of people on bikes in dressed upor in costumes but did not think much of it. Come on, Downtown Portland in the Summer on a Saturday night?! It wasn't until I was back to OMSI that I put two and two together. I was busy with the cool riding experience. By the time I got to the Hawthorne bridge did I encounter a lot of people riding opposite me - clothing optional. Why is italways the creepy dude that has to start early? Sadly that image has stayed with me.