update: online dating-or is it?

I have received e-mails that have really left me shaking my head in disbelief. I actually deleted one of my free dating site profiles last night. It was the only one that let me register as Bi. I never got very far with anyone on that site and it was where I received the bulk of weird e-mails. Some examples are (from a lesbian) "Would you consider having sex with someone before getting married." A creepy guy told me what a hot well endowed lover he was and was I okay with the string of lovers he and hi Bi wife wanted to experiment with. Wha? One e-mail I got yesterday was from a 38 year old Bi that said she never really breaks up with anyone. She would always consider sleeping with an "ex" anytime. Doesn't everyone feel this way? This morning I got an e-mail from a guy who lived in the f'ing forest and is looking for a BBW!?! First off if you had read my profile at all it clearly states in the header and within the profile that I am an URBAN girl and yes I have put on a few pounds but I am not a big girl! A transitioning "straight" man (soon to be woman) figured since I was Bi I would want him/her period. Really? In the photo he sent me he looked like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. Was I on a dating site or at a sexual circus?

Do any of you remember my excitement about a guy I met on the more "normal" dating site? His "handle" is SweetPDXguy. He had marked me as one of his favorites but never wrote to me. I had written to others back and forth but no real connection. When I was going through the site one day I looked to see who had marked me as their favorite and that is how I found him (again). I had read his profile a couple of months before when he first "marked" me but did not to write him. When I found him again I liked the profile so I wrote to him. We hit it off and wrote at least once a day back and forth asking and answering all sorts of questions for a few weeks. The flirting was fun and when I would get a new e-mail from him it would bring a smile to my face just opening it. He was making some life changing career choices at the time and decided it was not a good time to start a relationship. I was pretty bummed and would measure any potential dates to him. Last Friday I was almost done with a bike ride and saw a tall cute red headed guy walking into a building. Definitely got my attention but at the same time there was something familiar about him but could not seem to bring it to the front of my brain. I kept biking since I was not looking my best (stinky with greasy hair in my helmet pony-tailed up) to introduce myself to a hottie. About 1/2 mile later I thought I had figured it out - SweetPDXguy! We had e-mailed off the site so I had a real e-mail address. I e-mailed him that night asking if it was him. Since then we are e-mailing back and forth in that same puts-a-smile-on-my-face flirting fun. If nothing else I hope we meet this time so I am not left wondering "what if?" That was one of the harder aspects of our "ending." Stay tuned . . . .

I love a good re-purpose!

I went to a Green home improvement show last Friday. My mom read about it in the paper and it was free - perfect. I was excited after reading the website that I could not only see some cool home improvement stuff (HGTV I heart you!) but I could maybe win stuff - and I did! As the doors opened I bee-lined to the booth that was giving away a $10. Home Depot gift card and got one! There are quite a few things this DIY gal needs so I am thrilled! I want to finish my bulletin board project. I think I have figured out how to work with a new metal! I am trying to make this BB look like aged silver. Anyway, after my interview there is a Home D very close so I will go! I need silver spray paint and the corner brackets to hold the board into the frame.

I saw some great stuff at the show that made me wish I could have a home of my own to improve. The recycled glass counter tops, reclaimed wood for building and floors and cork floors made from recycled (or as I like to say - re-purposed) wine corks. Yes, I said they make a lot of products from recycled wine corks. It cant be the plastic ones but the actual made from cork ones. I thought the recycled class counter tops I have drooled about for awhile were cool but that is over the top awesome! They have a bin at Whole Foods among other places to drop off your used wine corks. If you save them up and give them to me I will recycle them for you. (Awesome, will you have Evil Dave save his corks?) Less in the land fill is cool and making good looking flooring is great! I have been excited about the use of bamboo in home improvement but I have really wanted to work with cork. It is great in a kitchen for flooring. It has spring in it but wears like hardwood. It does not stain easy and they look great! *sigh*

So I have my 2nd interview Wednesday afternoon. Please send good thoughts my way!

going round and round and round in my little world

We all get caught up in the close walls in our own little world. I am no exception. The difference is I write about my pains, triumphs, mistakes and crazy but true happenings. I started blogging many years ago along with other people I was hanging around at the time. The reason I still do is I hope I help someone else with a question or problem. Sometimes just writing about the things I get myself into entertains (or stuns) me so maybe you will will be amused too. Lastly putting into words for others to see dulls some of the pain I may feel about a subject. Think of it as emotional vomit. I guess if I was in a relationship I would talk to that person about things and all of you less? I don't think that is true. No, the last long term relationship I was in I blogged a good deal. I just have a lot to say and so I type away for those who chose to read. I find it amusing that most of you read in anonymity. Since you don't make yourself known you think nobody else reads my rambles. That's when you ask me "Why do you write for no one?" I think I have answered that - I do it for me . . . after all , it is all about me.

I find it interesting that I will have thoughts bouncing around in my head but not firmed up into a subject until I hear a song title or words of a song and bam! Music has always been important to me but it also seems to be the spark that inspires me. It can also be the song that is like taking a bullet to the heart. Some songs or even a whole album can be off limits unless I need a emotional cutting session. It is hard for me to let go of some emotions especially when I feel they have not been validated. By that I mean I have put into words the unresolved feelings to the person and they heard me. Sometimes I feel like I have too many feelings for one person. Wow, I am really retrospective today.

I think it comes from all the recent events going on in my world. One friend is self-destructing and I cant stop it, another wants to be a "beneficial" friend, a third is in a bad relationship with possible cheating involved. I'm glad to be a good friend but I feel all of it as if it was my problem. I have my own burdens too. I am unemployed and worrying about finances and lack of cash flow. I was not prepared to be on insanely limited funds but still regular bills. Oh, and rent when up this month.

I did have an interview that went really well yesterday. In fact I was asked back for a second interview before the first was done! The head of HR blurted out " I really shouldn't do this until I finish the other (first) interviews but I want you to come back next week for a second interview!" Given that I was 20 minutes late that is pretty cool. When I went out to my car to go to the interview a moving truck and car were double parked thus blocking me in. I was parked by a higher curb with huge trees so no driving up on the sidewalk to escape. Since there are several apartment buildings around mine it was a crap shoot to find the owners of the vehicles. The other down side is most of the buildings around me do not have on-site managers (mine does but to get her or help is tough) so I could not buzz them to find out if they were moving into that building. Finally I rocked the car enough and set off the alarm. That brought them out. They were having a coffee and donut picnic before unloading. It did not occur to them that they were blocking in 3 total strangers by having a big U-haul with a car double parked right behind! The biggest annoyance is they did not even apologize! They were mad that I touched their precious car and the coffee was getting cold. If ever there was a time to deck a total stranger it was then but I did not want blood on my new suit and I was already late.

I had a bit of trouble finding the building and was almost thinking this was already blown because of my tardiness. Not to give in in the face of defeat I pressed on. She was actually glad I was late as she had work to do! Sometimes things just work out. I called my mom at the end for what I thought would be a short convo but it turned into 30 minutes. The bad thing is I had put my key in the ignition and turned the car almost on . . . yup, I drained the battery. I always have the headlights on and the radio does not turn off. I had to call AAA for a jump. Before I called them I waited 40 minutes hoping it would recharge enough to start. I walked across the street to Miller Paint to problem solve the finish on my bulletin board project. When I went back there was a little life but I knew it would not come back enough so I called AAA. To ease my parents mind I drove to my Les Schwab to check the battery. They were so sure I would need a new battery .The adorable guy that helped me checked out the battery life, my tire pressure and my ass. He was too young to even think about. ;) I was fortune in finding a parking spot especially since they added another 1/2 block of "2 hour parking" on my street. I got home and changed for a much needed bike ride. Two days in a row biking is nice. I have been trying to go every other day depending on the weather.

That was a strange but nice day in the life in of my world. Learn something or be entertained or . . . .

Looking up

Had a busy day today. I have been treating myself to surfing the free stuff section on CraigsList in between job hunting. Today I scored! I was the first to respond to an ad for a art deco-ish bar/buffet turned entertainment center. It is a little rough but better than the Ikea piece that was there. It goes better with the other furniture and style in my place. It does have the TV higher than it should be (Wil is gonna bitch) but I like it so much more! Could my luck be changing?

I have sent out a handful of applications to jobs in the last week and a half. I have got a no thank you from an IV Tech position (I expected that as I am not trained to mix) and I have an interview on Wednesday from another. I have gotten the standard "we are looking at all the candidates" . . . e-mail from the rest. I have been asked by several of my old co-workers from PPMC to apply to two Tech positions that are not even posted yet. I have very mixed feelings about going back there but I have a bigger aversion to being homeless. I wrote an awesome cover letter and attached my resume. The rest is up to the Boss. I left on good terms but she did screw me a bit. I did not want all the questions, sad goodbyes and a party. I asked to just leave on my last day. When a rumor started that I was fired she did not put them straight even when I asked her to.

All in all I had a good but busy day. I had to enlist the help of the "boys" across the hall to move the old piece out and TV off the old and on the new. After everyone left I hooked the TV, cable, VCR and X-box back up by myself. (yup, I really did it all correctly and fairly quickly too!) After that I had to clean and dust and vacuum and move and put away and WOW was I tired at the end of this 4 hour tour! I do think it is well worth it. (Photo later in the light) The only thing I have not done yet is use my furniture restore product on the outside. It will "hide" scratches and give the whole piece a luster. This is a very solid piece of furniture and was very heavy! In this case free was a very good price.

Send all the good karmic vibes my way! I can always use the extra help.

Charlie loves coffee

I was out walking in the neighborhood the other day and happened to see Charlie Sheen in a shop enjoying a cup of coffee. He really likes his coffee.

Love the Beads!

Today t and I went to the Bead/Gem Faire in Hillsboro. I have been looking forward to this show for some time.The last bead show I attended with t started the partnership of t and Marta's re-purpose the jewelry project. That is where I bought the copper salt water pearls. I have enjoyed working with t and all the beautiful jewels she has made for me. I had no intention looking at beads for myself but in looking around at all the pretty stuff I found some Swarovski crystal beads I loved! They are a medium to dark blue that has a clear/silver cast to them and very sparkly. The bead size was a smaller size so the string cost $2. I had no idea what I was going to do with them. I don't have anything in that color or sparkle. My idea is to go towards something out of my comfort level meaning something I different that what I have. As we were strolling I had my beads in my hand. I fell in love with some small blue colored rounded turquoise and very light blue opal oblong beads to go with my pretty crystal. Those were way out of my price range right now. (really, everything is) The opal was $10 and the turquoise was $20. t saw what I liked and we talked it and put different strings together so she could understand what I liked about the combo. We found some beads of similar colors and shapes for $6 for 2 strings. I was pretty stoked at the choices and cost. The coolest part of the day was t saying she would show me how to make jewelry if I am interested. I am totally interested! She said I seem to have plenty of design ideas so I might as well just do it!