A very odd day

After not much sleep for the something day in a row I was a bit out of it this morning. I did go to bed a bit after nine but all the folks chose to hang in the parking lot and have domestic squabbles. Sure makes for weird dreams too.

So I was running late and not sure I could make the second train. Suddenly there was this older guy on the bike path. He passed me then slowed so I passed him and moved forward. We went back and forth for a mile or so . He pulled up to pass me again and said hello. He asked how I was doing this morning. I told him I felt I was running behind and needed to hurry. With that he said "Good day" and kicked it into gear. That kind of annoyed me. I kicked it too. We did the back and forth thing for a couple of miles then he said "Good luck to you" and flew. That pissed me off! I kept on at a more rapid than normal pace for the last two miles. I just missed the first train!

While I was waiting for the next train I ate a banana and stretched. When nobody was around my bike feel over. I looked up with a start and righted it. The train was coming so I got my bike and watching to see if any hangers were available. The ones in the front car so I trotted up there. As I trotted my bike felt funny. I looked down to see a totally flat back tire! Good thing I had gotten Gayle's phone number just the day before!

(not another cliff hanger! Yup.)

We got the karma!

We had an appointment tonight to see a three bedroom apartment in the building we want to move into. They are pretty nice newer construction places but the boys were wow'ed. All the units have two full bathrooms!!! After giving us the tour and sizing us up she said a two bedroom has come available! Someone gave notice this morning. It's on the top floor corner. (CSz side) She is going to talk to the folks tomorrow to see when they will be out and us in. YES!!!!!

OMG I have to move again. . . *groan* I don't think I have anyone left to help that has not helped the last. . .several. I have to sign a lease if that helps. The boys are with me and excited for us to move back in the NW. We will be able to see and hear the trolley. Crap, I hate moving.

A threat by any other name

The boys father got re-married this month to a woman he dated for a couple of years. From the get-go she has been afraid of me. I really have no idea why either. If I was at the house picking up the boys and she was driving up she would pull her car over a block or so away, lock her doors and wait until I was LONG gone. I found this behavior odd but never questioned it. Look who she was dating. As time went on it got more bizarre. She actually thought I would harm her in some way. (WTF?) Yeah, cause I go around town beating up any folks that get in my way! (dont say you havent been warned)

When "They" told the kids (she has three) that they were getting married things really went sour. I think "He" kept telling "Her" the kids (my boys) wanted this to happen when the boys told "Him" from the beginning they didnt like "Her" or her kids. They knew them from their old school. As I said things just went bad. The boys got defiant and told her to her face (Nick) "Get bent" and (Wil) "I don't have to listen to you. You are not my parent" The more they forced the kids to be a family the worse it got. "He" told them he was the adult so he makes the decisions. They would have to live with it.

That is what finally lead to the incident in early June. Since then they have lived with me. We have done pretty well getting in a groove. Fall with school might be a different story.

There is more to this story but it may take another week or more to finish so her is a tidbit. Let me say this (to make it a cliff hanger) We had an incident on Sunday.

Nothing better

I got the new Harry Potter book the day after it came out. I didn't pre-purchase it or stand in any lines. In fact I knew it was coming out and had it in my head to do something about it on that day but forgot. No worries as I ended up with it all the same. I have not had much time to read it. I cant read on the train but I can knit. (?) I have made it all the way through the first chapter (page 37) as of this morning. I'll probably finish it by Christmas. :)

I really like the smell of a new book. It is so promising of an adventure not yet discovered by another. How could it with the crackle of the spine and pages so crisp and not yet separated?

*pst!* Hey Gayle, I know you have something to say so do it! :)

Million dollar baby

Last Saturday I had the evening un-planned, open if you will. Wil had a friend over and Nick was at a friends. I did a few errands in the late afternoon and rented a "girlie" movie. By the time I got home and watched some I got interrupted then D.B. called. It was late when we finished talking so I opted for bed and an early bike ride the next morning. I thought I could finish it the next day. I was wrong. It wasn't til after 8pm on Wednesday I had another opportunity.

I finally got all my errands done with Wil and the after the strange thought provoking fortune cookie. I asked Wil if he wanted to watch a movie or TV with his mom before I had to go to bed at 9. He asked if I ever finished my movie. I said no but if he wanted to watch with me I would start over. He said he could pick it up. I realize now that he was just being a thoughtful son. He didn't really want to watch it at all but knew that I wanted to spend more time with him. He wanted me to have a chance to finish it. He had asked Sunday morning if I finished. I told him not yet but it's good. I really relate to Maggie. She kept fighting. (and still standing despite the odds)

I decided tonight I wanted to finish it. I was really tired after a satisfying work week and just wanted to be at home. Earlier in the evening I went another two rounds with the ex-hubby and just wanted to rest. No worries, I got the points in those rounds but it does wear you out. When I started watching from where I left off I really got sucked in. I so relate to Maggie and needed to follow her heart with all she had. She was all she had until she had "The boss" in her corner. I cheered aloud as she learned lessons and made progress toward her dreams. When she was in the ring about to fight the German I saw the subtle shift. I got a hurt in the pit of my stomach. I knew something wasn't right. I was yelling at the TV and was shadow boxing trying to help her. She had to win but I knew she didn't stand a chance but I didn't know why. At the moment the gal cheated everything in my world and in the movie went in slow motion. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

For the rest of the movie I understood how she was dying inside just lying there, her dream gone. I was openly crying and in pain. Wil came and sat with me to see what was going on. Why was the hard working honest gal stuck in a useless body while the jealous cheater was walking, living free? Too close to home.


I went from thinking this was a new movie of inspiration to feeling hopeless pain. It is a good movie but made me feel too many things and have thoughts I cant right now. Movies are supposed to make you feel but even now tears are streaming down my face typing this. Wil keeps coming in to check on me. Too many things just under the surface for me. I need to just focus on what I'm doing and what needs to be done. I cant get sucked into the pit of need/want right now. It's not about me. I cant fix it anyway.

Not to worry about me. I'm just tired and thinking too hard. After all I am still standing despite all that wanted to watch me hit the canvas. Look at all I have done and walked away from even as others thought I was done for. Would not trade places with you. I like being me too much.

Whew!

The other day driving home from the MAX my white car did a goofy thing. The radio turned off (but the antenna stayed up). The windows were down while I was on 205 so at first I did not hear the ding ding noise that the car makes when you leave the keys in the ignition. As I slowed down to exit I heard it! As long as the key is in, car running or off, it just dings! How insanely annoying.

Today I left the house early and got off 205 an exit early to leave Hot Point at Swede One. I hope it is an inexpensive fix as I am selling that car. I have not liked it from the get-go. I thankfully already replaced it with a beautiful 1996 Volvo 940 wagon in a wine color. Good thing I did!

More later, I gotta start work. BTW I cant use spell check here but will edit at home so . . .

(lunch time)
After I got the car parked at S1 and my bike ready for the short trip I was worried I would miss my train. I can take the next one and still get to work on time but I do like that "breathing room" I can change and un pack calmly and visit. I was almost to the platform but still needed to cross all the tracks from the bike path to the platform. There was the train! I felt a little panic but knew if I missed it no worries. As it turned out I inadvertently caught the train before me regular. I was at work with my computer on at 7:36. A nice surprise and it gave me a bit of blogging time.

I'm really missing D.B. these days. I haven't seen him in almost two weeks! Our free time for texting and phone conversations does not even match! When we do get a chance to talk on or the other of our cell phones drops the call. I'm afraid I got a bit frustrated with all of these factors and actually cried last night when finally talking to him. I know how much guys hate it when women cry. It was not a ploy to get my way. I just miss my D.B. Sorry you.

Just heard from S1 and it was a fuse and a chaffed wire! Whew!

Growing up

My baby is growing up! Yesterday at Target I bought Nick his first razor and shave cream. Suddenly the "peach fuzz" hair on his legs is looking all manly. Soon his voice will change?

It doesn't make me feel old but rather he is not a kid anymore.

Post note: Went to the mall to do some errands with Wil. We had dinner at the food court and I got a fortune cookie that read;
"Prepare yourself for a change in your personal life." *gulp*

Are we there yet?

Things are looking up in Marta's World! I will (hopefully) share good news with you soon.

Wait for it. :)

Pleased with life

I have been a very busy gal! I don't really have any free time during the work week. By the time I get home It's between 6:30 and 8:00 at night. I try to go to bed by 9:00 so I have lots of energy for all the learning I have been doing at TE. I just like to be at my best and ready for whatever comes my way. I try to take Nick out to get rid of his energy and spend time with the boys. Family (no computer) time before I go to bed. It may sound boring to you but I am proud that I can support the boys and we are altogether. It means the world to me. The only thing missing is someone to share all this with us.

I manage to squeeze in a bike ride here and there. I get off the MAX early or make loops around the area of the skate park in the time Nick is there. I can get a eight to ten mile ride in. The short ride to work is not enough for me. I will have more opportunity for adding ride time to the beginning and end of my commute when we move. I will also be able to go to bed a bit later and sleep in.

The boys have been very understanding but I feel bad for Nick. He likes to go to the skate park, DOS and generally be active. Where we live that's not really possible without someone to take him. Not only the location but I might be a protective mom. We need to move!!!

Last night was the summer BBQ at the bosses house. It started with a eight mile ride on our bikes. One might say I got my ass kicked on the ride there but here is what went through my head during the ride. I am ten to twenty years older than the other two gals I was riding with. I haven't been riding for over three years and up to a month and a half ago I was not very active. (thanks to the ankle) In the time I have started back up I have done well in the length and distance per hour I ride. What I'm trying to say is I do kick some biking ass in my own right. I love to ride and am proud of myself. I am a Butch Biker Babe - Thank you!

I got to meet people's significant others. I didn't have a date but I'm still in the market ;). It was a nice way to finish my first full week at TE. I wonder if they will do that every week?

I got home very late last night. It was 10:30 when the three biker's headed out for the MAX. Molly and her husband have safety lights so I rode between them on the short distance to the station. They actually live in SE too but wanted to bike home from Beaverton. I had three Lemon drops (I'm not talking candy here but just as tasty) so I thought MAX might be the way to go. Biking tipsy in the dark to the station was all the fun I needed. That and the thug/hip hop kids and the station was good enough for my sense of adventure for one evening. (BTW I was wearing my Shebeest Coral Reef CycloSkort) When we arrived at Pioneer Square the train filled up and sat there for ten minutes. (No idea) By the time I got to the Gateway station it was after midnight. I finally got home and to bed at a bit after 1am. I was almost up for twenty four hours having gotten up the day before at 5am. Little tired today but had a great time.

Please notice that I have gotten the links on the side bar to look pretty! I have finally had the time and a free computer to work on it. Ken started the whole process months ago showing me I could add words in the template of the blog so they would show up on the side bar. He wrote something like "If Marta were smart she would add words here" I left it for awhile cause I thought it was funny. As I added more things I would ask Ken for help. He says he isn't a computer guy but can figure out things. Sorry but that is a computer guy Ken. We ran into a wall when I added links that would not show in the colors I instructed. That's where Jeff comes in. (One of my bosses) I asked him why it wasn't working and in two seconds showed me. Some of the wording wasn't quite right so it wouldn't do it. The only thing I'm not pleased with now is the font style/size and that I cant (don't know how to) add spaces.

The boys have sure enjoyed the bachelor time when I'm at work. You can sure tell from the place two guys live here. The place is pretty messy. I don't want to spend my weekends cleaning up all the mess. We are trying to work it out. When I came home last night I was in awe at the level of mess that was.

Just a shameless plug for the local funny.
The ComedySportz Farm Team: Selected Sundays at 7:00pm; July 17 & 31.
Our workshoppers take the field - not our pro teams, but a great show for
a nice price - just $6, or $5 with a can of food for the Oregon Food Bank.

For me?

They like me so much at work they are throwing me a BBQ tonight! Okay, they already had it planned (probably before I was hired) but still. *it is all about me* I can bring a guest but DB cant make it. I need a . . . .

Eating my lunch at my desk so as to get some personal computer time. By the time I get home I dont have a lot of time and want to spend it with the boys. I do lose about three hours a day comuting. We so need to move.

One of my bosses has showed my how to fix the colors on the links on the side bar of this here blog. It is a time consuming task I have not had time to do much of. One of this days. Ken, the computer guy was not able to help me complete this important task.

Time for play is up! more later ;)

Ah Sunday

I have enjoyed my first 3 days at Team Estrogen. They are all so glad to have me and think I'm funny. Gayle is the one I have the most contact with as she gathers up orders while I'm re-stocking. She keeps telling me how much fun it is to have me around. I have learned a lot but know I have a ways to go before I can be knowledgeable on the phones about the products. I really like the place and the folks. Please go to the site and order. (permanently on sidebar of my blog) Tell them I sent ya weather you order on line or call it in!

Have had a fun and busy weekend with D.B. here. We have done lots and nothing at all. I like having him around. Now that I have weekends again I can go visit. I just need to plan ahead since I have the boys full time. I'm glad to but means I need to plan a bit more than I have been.

I get a lot of knitting done on MAX when I A) get to hang my bike and 2) get a seat. One of these days I will take pics of projects and get them on the right blogs. :)

Lucky Ducky!

The boys and I are soooo lucky! (finally!) I have a great job that I already love! The people I work for and with are so nice. I feel at home after one day. I will be able to take care of the boys and keep them with me. Life is good in Marta's World.

Still working on the apartment thing. I have not heard from the lady yet but we are next on the waiting list for a two bedroom in NW Portland. So close to CSz that my call time commute will be five minutes of walking. Now that's what I'm talking about! It will be more fun for the boys and easy for them to get to school and stuff.

I'm able to get a seat on the way to work just before downtown so I can knit. I have made lots of progress on the summer sweater I started in the winter of 1985. It is coming along nicely. The way back I got a seat right away so I happily knitted away. At least I can make good use of the time doing something that I enjoy.

Gotta go for now. Happy happy to all.

I cant wait til Wednesday!

This morning I got up at 5:30am as if to go to my new job. I needed to be in the car at 6:10 driving to the MAX station with my bike on the rack. Since this was practice I wasn't as peppy as I would normally be. (I really dislike being late but not to the point of bitchiness) I figured as long I finished up and the biking directions got me there that was my goal. I pulled into the station about a minute before the train was due. I would of made the train except the "prime" spots are pay to park (WTF?) 6am to 6pm with a five hour limit! About then I turned into Smarta and couldn't drive the right direction in the parking lot. I wasted the time I could have gotten my bike, backpack, bought the ticket and made the train. I missed it by 20 seconds! :) The train I caught would have gotten me there on time if I would have known where I was going. Another gal from Team Estrogen actually came on a later train than me and she passed me on the bike path. I was trying to follow directions.

I was greeted when I got there by wonderful, enthuastic women that were willing to answer any questions and show me around. All the employees are so thrilled to work in the laid back cycling environment. I'm honored and proud of myself out of 8 or so women they picked me. I'm damned lucky!!

After looking around my new digs I reluctantly left. I re-traced my tracks to the MAX. I had two stops to make. One was six stops away in Beaverton. I haven't been to Performance One Bike shop in many years. I used to go on a regular basis when I would go visit my parents. (like that's gonna happen now!) I needed fenders that aren't sissy looking. The Tomboy in me is totally ruling at this point. Bike' n' Hike rules and should get your business but they had a very limited selection that I was not happy with. They were having a big Summer blow out type sale so it was worth the stop. I got there at what seemed like noon but it was only 9:10 and they didn't open until 10am! I must have looked dejected standing straddling my bike staring in the window from the curb. The manager stopped working on shipment to ask me if I needed something. I merely said fenders and he said "Come on in" He pointed me in the right direction and continued his work. I found some detatchable ones I can live with. They also had some of my favorite energy bars on sale so I snagged some of those too. I thanked him and he said" No problem, I could see you are a real biker" How f'ing sweet!

My next stop was in downtown Portland. Lee needed some papers so I had them with me to drop on the way home. I did make one other stop downtown. I went to the Tri-Met office to buy my July pass. It's good on MAX, buses and the trolley. I will need a three zone pass from SE Portland or NW so if we do move I'm set!

Speaking of moving we are on the waiting list for a two bedroom apartment a stones throw from Comedy Sportz in my beloved NW Portland! I hope we get it soon not only because of the communte but so the boys can get comfy in their new place and ready to bus to school. I want them to feel in charge of their world and able to do their own thing. (following my simple rules) Much easier to get around on public transportation from there than here! We all agree we like that area best.

So much has changed so drastically in the last month but I'm so at peace. I've always wanted equal if not full time with my boys. There are daily up's and downs but I have willingly done whatever to make it work. They deserve a safe loving environment in which to grow. I only wish I could have done it sooner and under better circumstances. They are with me now and I have a great job in which to support us. I'm very thankful the "gods" have finally stopped testing me and let some things work out.

Happy holiday if I dont get near the computer this weekend!